Saturday, January 31, 2009

Another 13.1 in Surf City

This was not a race I "trained for" exactly, but I have still been running reasonably long distances once a week... and I really want my CA Dreamin' Medal. Therefore, there was no way I was dropping out!

However, this was not a fun race. I was VERY disappointed by the coordination. Because we were stuck in so much traffic at Long Beach, and I knew the other races had an earlier start than the half, I decided to park in a designated parking lot fairly far from the start. I thought it would easy in and easy out, and there were shuttle buses, so no problem, right? Wrong. When we parked, we realized the line for the shuttle was about 200 people long. And a shuttle had not come for a while. We stood in line about 10 minutes, and realized there were no shuttles coming, so I had to hoof it almost two miles further to get to the start of my race. And also because of the lack of freebies at the expo the day before (economy? or two many tourists in HB?) I as not in the best of moods.

Anyway, as usual, I live my life to a soundtrack, and my playlist was again carefully selected.

While the race was about to start, I stretched and I listened to:

Stickshifts And Safetybelts by Cake
The Longest Time by Billy Joel
Papas by Mr Loco
Jesus Wrote A Blank Check by Cake
You've Got What It Takes by Steve Lucky & Rhumba Bums

So the race began, and I was not feeling as strong as I could have. Or as I did during long Beach. It was a little nerve wracking, but I remember from my most recent training runs, that I actually end up feeling better after a few miles, so I was looking forward to that.

The Likes Of You Again by Flogging Molly
Less Teeth, More Tits by Lunachicks
I'm a Dick by The Muffs
Sorrow by Bad Religion
What's Left Of The Flag by Flogging Molly
Finnegan's Wake by Dropkick Murphys
Hopeless Romantic by Bouncing Souls

By mile three, I realized that the electrolyte drink might not be as strong as powerade, which made me hope that it would still give me some carbs because I didn't have anything else on me (no freebies at the expo, remember?).

Selfish Man by Flogging Molly
Please Play This Song On The Radio by NOFX
Want You Bad by The Offspring
The Kilburn High Road by Flogging Molly
We Close Our Eyes by Oingo Boingo
Wish Me Well (You Can Go To Hell) by Bouncing Souls
Perfect Situation by Weezer
Black Friday Rule by Flogging Molly
Not My Slave by Oingo Boingo
Golfshirt by Nerf Herder
Monday Morning Ant Brigade by Bouncing Souls
Buddy Holly by Weezer
Boys On The Docks by Dropkick Murphys

Mile 5 Brought:

American Girl by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
Beverly Hills by Weezer
Swagger by Flogging Molly
Red Sweater by Aquabats

By this time, I had a little mini-mental breakdown. For some reason, I thought I was a little over halfway through. Don;t really know why, but it may have been because the really inspiring songs were now making their way to my ears. But the next mile marker I saw... was 6. Whaaaa?

What Difference Does It Make (Smiths) by Face To Face
Vegan Song by Reel Big Fish
Drunken Lullabies by Flogging Molly
El Mas Chingon by Voodoo Glow Skulls
Playdough by Aquabats
The Middle by Jimmy Eat World
May The Living Be Dead (In Our Wake) by Flogging Molly
The Band Geek Mafia by Voodoo Glow Skulls
Salty Dog by Flogging Molly
The Rocky Road To Dublin by Dropkick Murphys
Idiot Box by Aquabats
Sentimental Johnny by Flogging Molly
Bleed American by Jimmy Eat World
Courtney by Nerf Herder

Right about now is where we turned around by Bolsa Chica State Beach. All I could think was at least I was over halfway there.

Devil's Dance Floor by Flogging Molly
Lamer Than Lame by Nerf Herder
Jen by Jimmy Eat World
Romper Stomper by Transplants
Pervert by Nerf Herder
Hungry Like The Wolf by Reel Big Fish
No One Lives Forever (1988 Boingo Alive Version) by Oingo Boingo
Barfly by Buck-O-Nine

At this point I was at about 10 miles. Which meant three more. It's only a 5K, right? UGH Thank god for Hot Hot Heat.

Bandages by Hot Hot Heat
Spaceman by The Killers
Take On Me by Reel Big Fish
Martian Girl by Aquabats
Irish Drinking Song by Buck-O-Nine

Two more miles. I needed to walk some more. I needed to conserve my energy lest I get yelled at by H for walking. Considering he does not have a bike, I figured I was at least a 1-1.5 miles away from seeing him. I rewound to Hot Hot Heat and kept repeating until about halfway through the 12th mile, where I saw my husband. He gave me a high five and I thought I could see the finish. I figured I had enough pep in me to make it through without Hot Hot Heat for like the 5th time, and I finished the race listening to the Killers.

And I got shafted... again. I'm tired, I'm hungry. There were no Gu people or cliff shot people or even Powerade people along the course. I'm just drained, and I need something. Anything. I got a glass of the watered down crap they were handing out the whole race, and now I'm looking for a bagel or banana. Or candy bar - at this point, I just don't care. Nothing. I see bags of stuff being handed out on the marathon finishers side - I can see joint juice, bananas, and shot bloks through the plastic. But the marathon side is behind a big orange fence, and I can't get to it. I saw nothing on the half marathon side. I guess if there were only enough for 1/2 the runners, the full marathoners should get them, but seriously - I am HUNGRY and my legs are cramping cramping. I need something. But there was nothing to be found. So I wandered around for another 10 minutes just to keep my legs from stiffening into a exertion induced rigor mortis, if for no other reason.

Hope by Descendents
City Of Angels by The Distillers
The Rare Ould Times by Flogging Molly

When I got to H, thank GOD he grabbed a couple tangerines for me, or I would have had nothing. At this point, I am pissed off and cranky, in pain and thoroughly done with the whole thing. I didn't even stick around for the post race beer. Fuck this place, I have had enough. So we start walking towards where we thought the shuttles were picking up, about another 1/2 mile down the road, and get there, and nothing. Turns out we have to walk inland a block, and then another 1/3 of a mile back. Thanks for posting a sign. And so much for only having to do 13.1 today.

Considering all the issues, I think I should count myself lucky to have even gotten my medal. I keep telling myself that I'm glad this was not my first half experience, but then I would have had nothing to compare it to, so maybe it wouldn't have mattered. In the end, my time was 2:47:37 - almost a full 20 minutes over my PR. Here's to hoping I can keep my training more consistent, and that SF is a little better organized.

Friday, January 30, 2009

More positive thinking

Top 5 positive things about me not being KU:
1. I'm not nearly as stressed about H's last day today
2. I have time to lose some more weight
3. I can eat yummy sushi at dinner tonight
4. I can drink yummy boozies at dinner tonight
5. I can wear the cute clothes I just ordered from Old Navy yesterday for much longer

Top 5 positive things about SIL being KU:
1. It may take the focus off of us and our lack of procreation
2. She can be designated driver if we ever go out together
3. I will have a baby to play with in 8ish months
4. She will probably get fat
5. I can see everything she does wrong and vow to not do that myself

Thursday, January 29, 2009

SIL is pregnant

Just like she thought she was at H's birthday party.

Of course she is. Anyone have any ideas on the silver lining in this %$#%^$&%$% cloud?

Gotta think positive.... Hmmm.... the good part of this is that she will get fat?

Focus on the Positive

I was brought up by a pessimist, who was brought up by an even bigger pessimist. Therefore, I can't help leaning towards pessimism. At least the pessimism has faded through the generations. I can remember getting angry at my mom for being so negative, and I can't even be around my grandmother - she is a prime example of negativity attracting negativity. And yet my husband gets angry with me for being negative. I don't want to be negative, especially in this down time in our country.

So herein lies the experiment. I am going to try and spend a few minutes each day to jot down things that I am thankful for, things that make me happy and positive. And I thought I would share my first list with you.

1. H and I are are generally healthy and we are both thankful for that
2. H and I are very much still in love, no matter how much I complain about him :oP
3. I have a job that provides great perks, pays well, and provides better than average benefits
4. I have two beautiful dogs that are both well behaved and easy to take care of love
5. I have awesome friends that are funny and supportive and understanding
6. I have some amazing family members, both on my side as well as H's
7. I have colleagues in my industry who I trust and respect, and they trust and respect me as well
8. I possess a quirky sense of humor that allows me to see the funny in almost everything, including the horrific
9. I am a strong person and can withstand anything life can throw at me, mentally AND emotionally
10. I have goals, and will achieve them, no matter how long it may take

Not sure how that was for a list of positive, and I'm not sure if it made me feel better. Maybe next time I should focus on the positives of my job.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

H is getting laid off

His last day is Friday. I am combination of scared and jealous. This means I am stuck at my job for a bit longer, which blows huge chunks. We have stopped trying to snowball and are now just covering the minimum payments. I am also already getting angry and impatient with him because he has yet to start on his resume. he promises me it will be done by the end of the week.

In the meantime, my work life is pretty much just as miserable as always, especially now that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Both promising jobs fell through, and now with H's layoff, I'm not comfortable with changing jobs at this point. I'm still keeping my eyes open, but the chances of me finding something that pays about the same or better that I feel comfortable enough to go to seem pretty slim.

Even worse is that I am in the same situation now that I was a year ago with a boss that I don't trust. I don't know what my market segments are, and I seem to get all the really low budget events. To make matters worse, all the social events that I spent the last 4 months booking are now being given to the new sales manager. Did I mention that person isn't out of training yet, so I am STILL working on them? Even after my name has been taken off. And I just had to turn away a repeat client that spends a pretty penny because my boss took the day already. Well, if I was given this client that I'm not even allowed to book, why wouldn't I have gotten the other client? They are the same market segment. It doesn't make any sense, and I still feel like I am getting the shaft. Once all my sales are taken away, I will pretty much have nothing on the books, making my security here something of a joke. I certainly don't feel like I can bring any of this up. I guess we see what is said in my review. I am certainly not motivated right now.

RE Appt #1 = FAIL.

What can I really say? I went in because my current health coverage will pay for the diagnostic tests, and I figured we should at least know now if there is a problem while we have the insurance coverage. Our insurance does NOT coverage any fertility treatment, and I think that includes drugs. Considering I would rather spend the money adopting than paying OOP for drugs I don't even really want to take, I was going to draw the line at testing, and then take some time to think about the results, whatever they are.

I found reviews online about a couple different doctors, and I chose the one that was most convenient to both H and I, and made the initial appointment.

The doctor didn't really care about my charts, or my cycle history. He said that since my cycles were 26-31 days, he felt that was fine, even though my LP seems to change and I have a lot of spotting. He talked about Clomid, and then when H expressed his fear of multiples and I expressed my desire to not go on any drugs until I have had the testing, he told he wouldn't bother with Clomid anyway, he would go right into injectibles. WTF? He says the success rate of Clomid is too low.

H liked him because he joked a lot. I thought he was insulting. Anyway, at the end of the appointment he told me to keep trying for 2-3 more months, and then when I was "ready to get pregnant" to come in and let him do his job.

Now that I think of it, all the reviews online were posted by husbands. Figures.

So, now I guess I am on to RE #2 and hope she is a doctor that is on the same page as I am.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

15 minutes at a time

I have to give myself the gift of patience. This cleaning and organizing is really taking its time. It can't happen overnight, right? Like losing weight, slow and steady wins the race. I have told myself that I will do a little every day, and hopefully, slowly, my home will start looking better.

I posted the weekly cleaning checklist on the fridge on Monday and told H that he should feel free to look at it when he's got a few moments and complete a task (or a few). He hasn't done it yet, but I'm still hopefull. We also haven't finished our daily tasks, but I'm still hopeful. One day, it will stick, right? I mean, it's only the first week!

Anyway, my tip of the day is to keep a trash can in every room so that you are encouraged to toss things immediately instead of letting them pile up, thereby eliminating the clutter. I did a lot of cleaning and tossing and organizing last night while watching "House" on my DVR. Yay me!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

First Out of the Box Organizing Experiment

Jewelry. I have a ton of costume jewelry, and very non-user friendly ways of organizing it. My necklaces are all tangled together, and I never remember to wear any jewelry (other than my wedding set). So I read about a ribbon on the wall display, and figured I would give it a shot. I went to Target and got ribbon (on sale for $1.99!) silver clips ($2.29) and pretty pushpins ($1.29). So I only spent about five bucks, and I have leftovers!

I hung strips of the ribbon on the wall with the pushpins, and then used the binder clips to attach the jewelry to the ribbon. I pinned the brooches to the loose ends of the ribbon. Cuffs and rings went into a smaller jewelry box.

Here is the finished project.

H was not impressed though. He asked me if I needed a jewelry box as he eyed the display suspiciously. ::face palm:: And of course.... I forgot to grab a piece of jewelry this morning. Gah! Anyway, H is determined to find me a jewelry box for all my different shaped stuff. I think it might be easier to just get rid of the jewelry.

Monday, January 12, 2009

I'm going to have my ass handed to me

On February 1.

I'm not really freaked out, because I have run a half before. But there will be no PR this time around. Life is getting in the way. Maybe I shouldn't let it - if I were a real runner, I would run no matter what, right? Well, I set out for my 10 miles yesterday.... and quickly realized this would be a major undertaking. Maybe it was the heat... the dryness... and the wind. My throat burned, my nostrils hurt, my skin felt like it was going to flake off, and the sun was setting. UGH. I wanted to quit 12 minutes in. I literally looked at my watch and though "how much longer?" and I had been running for all of 12 minutes. WTF.

Well, I cut my run short, and I walked a good amount - maybe more than I should have. I did about six miles. This coming weekend I was going to go for 14, but maybe that will be cut down to 12, or maybe even 10. And then taper quite a bit for the two weeks before the race.

Maybe the adrenaline will kick in. Or maybe not. As long as I'm not last, I will be happy.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The internet does not always equal forever

I know people say that's once it's on the internet, it's there forever, so be careful what you put on it. Well, not so. A long time friend of mine recently reminded me that before "blogs" were even called blogs, I had a website where I posted random rants and musings. I googled for it, and even found a remote reference to it, but lo and behold, the actual site no longer exists. I can't remember why I stopped my ranting in the first place, but now I am sad that I never saved any of them. Well, they may actually be saved, but I would need to boot up a couple of outdated and almost dead computers to find them.

So sad. Mostly because I used to be really funny and interesting, and while I am trying to channel that side of me again, I no longer feel funny and interesting.


Thursday, January 1, 2009

New Year's Resolutions

2008 was not a bad year. In fact, there were some major highlights - meeting a bunch of great new friends and running a half marathon come to mind. However, I am looking forward to 2009. When I asked my husband what else good happened in 2008, he said "We were healthy in 2008. But we'll be skinny in 2009." Which leads me to my next topic - resolutions.

I have made pretty much the same resolutions for a few years now: 1. Lose weight 2. Pay off debt 3. Get organized. And it's really sad that I never seem to get to the point where I don't have to make that resolution again! I am confident this year - for some reason. So here they are - for all of cyberspace.

2009 Resolutions

1. Lose weight. Come hell or high water, I WILL lose the weight this year. I will lose at least 20 pounds, and then see how I feel. 20 pounds will put me about 15 pounds lower than I have been in three years, and that would make me supremely happy. I have a half marathon in February, the Mud Run in June, and another half in July, and I figure I will be running at least one more race before the end of the year. As long as I keep my calories in check a majority of the time, I should have no excuses.

2. Pay off debt. I made a HUGE dent in our consumer debt this year, but then a couple of things set us back - both our water heater and our car died. So sad. I am in a much better financial situation today than I was a year ago, but there is still much work to be done. I will create a budget and both H and I will stick to it. This is going to be key. After that, everything else should fall into place.

3. Get organized (and cleaned!). Our home is a disaster. Disaster. H is pretty messy, I'm a packrat, and I work so many hours I am never home to clean. So, between all the crap I have and H's messes our condo is just hideous. I want to feel organized. I want to have people over without being mortified. Last year I signed up for Flylady and then just got overwhelmed with the zones and the emails. This year I am creating a daily/weekly cleaning schedule and assigning tasks to each of us. I am also going to make a concerted effort to spend a minimum of 15 minutes a day (I did get something from that Flylady) decluttering, which for the most part means either throwing giving away.

Now, the biggest obstacle in the bast to these things has been H. But this year I am going to work very VERY had to get him involved - with the budget, with the cleaning, and especially with the food. I don't want any more crap or peer pressure from him. He can stand to lose a few pounds himself, and I think he is on board with me because of what he said about 2009.

There are of course other things I am doing/continuing in 2009 that don't need a resolution involved - my running, reading, looking for a new job, and maybe even a house! But I'm going to keep it simple and try to focus on the big three if you will. So goodbye 2008, even though you had some sucky moments, all in all you were an okay year. BUT HELLO 2009 - you are going to be GREAT!!!