Monday, September 28, 2009

Ghosts from my past

As expected, H and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch due to his unemployment and our infertility. I still love him fiercely, but we just aren't getting along like we used to. I know this is going to change - mostly when he gets a job. He absolutely hates being unemployed and is a moody fucker these days. He has an interview today (good luck baby!) and another one tomorrow! Woot!

Anyway, with impeccable timing, a old flame walked into my life last week via Linked In. We had a periodically intense relationship that lasted well over a year. I say "periodically intense" because when we were together, life was grand. We laughed, we talked, we ate, we shopped, we had incredible, amazing sex. I really felt like we were just on the same wavelength. And then we would part. Well, the word "part" is a stronger word than maybe it should be. See, I lived in Huntington Beach and he lived in Hollywood. Not that far, but also not super easy to see each other during the week, so our time together was limited and sporadic. This probably would have been fine, but he also had an "out of sight, out of mind" mentality. I wouldn't hear from him at all for sometimes several weeks, and then he would call and we would be right back to where we were.

I was far too independent to bother calling him either, but eventually I started to feel like maybe I needed more. Maybe it was time for me to consider having an actual relationship. I told him that if we were to continue seeing each other, maybe we needed to progress a little. He agreed, but failed to make the effort, so I dumped him.

That was 9 years ago.

Every couple of years he tracks me down. First it was via calling me on my cell before I eventually changed the number. Then it was contacting me at my personal email address (which I still have, but stopped responding to his emails). Then it was by googling my name and finding my work email. Now it's via Linked In. I seriously might be "the one that got away" for him. I wonder what he wants and if he will ever really get over me? Or maybe he just wants to keep in touch? Unless he comes right out and says something definitive, I'll never know.

Since last week, I have found myself thinking about him more. The rocky relationship H and I are sporting doesn't help. He is about as different from H as possible. Sometimes I find myself thinking about a good memory, and often I think about the bad. Mainly, where would I be if I had stuck around and tried to make it work? Can I honestly think he would have ever settled down? Well, at least with me? I don't think so. Even if he does want me now, he had the chance 9 years ago and he missed out.

If I was still single, I would probably give him another chance, even though I am not convinced it would end up any different. I can only imagine how desperate I would be if I was still single at 36! Especially since I was so over the dating scene long before I met H over 6 years ago. I have to remember how happy and secure my husband made me feel, even early in our relationship. We are rocky now, but employment is imminent for him, and he will again be the sweet, relaxed, happy man I married. And then we can work on making sex fun again, and I can once again banish the memory of this particular old flame. Until he tracks me down again, of course!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Two years and counting

Two years ago today, I married my best friend. And threw a heck of a party! It was hard choosing photos, and fun going through them again! All the photos were taken by the amazing Cameron Ingalls and his beautiful wife Anna. I hope I can afford to hire them over and over for the rest of our lives!

Happy Anniversary Darling!

Thursday, September 17, 2009


Goal Weight: 156.0
Current Weight: 156.6
Difference: +0.6

I was nervous about this week. No matter what I said about last week, I didn't really track like I should have!! Nor did I do much running. I tried to ease my nerves by telling myself that I had two more weeks to make Lifetime, if in fact I was up a little too much this week.

Well, that wasn't necessary! Yay! I am now a Lifetime member of WW!!! I do want to lose a few more pounds just to get a bit of a buffer, and then I want to start either New Rules of Weightlifting for Women, or Body For Life and see if I can improve my body composition without changing my weight much.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Come As You Are

OC Restaurant Week is here again!

Thank goodness for my friends, otherwise OC Restaurant Week would have passed me by! Starlily, 10YT, and Fitty met me for brunch at the Nirvana Grille in Laguna Beach, where they were doing two course prix fixe menus for $15 and three courses for $20!

We opted to start the meal with some mimosas, but not just plain old mimosas - mimosas with yummy AND pretty purees!

White peach, pomegranate, and blood orange waiting for the bubbles!

The blood orange was the best of the bunch IMO.

You can see the hunger on 10YT's face! Thank goodness for champagne! And our starter course came soon after:

Fitty and Starlily had the Smoked Salmon Toasts with Chopped Egg, Red Onion, Tomato, Micro Greens & Dijon Vinaigrette. I was able to trade for one, and even though I am not a smoked salmon fan, these were very good. I particularly liked the tang of the dijon vinaigrette and how it accented the richness of the salmon and egg.

10YT and I both ordered the Chicken Wontons with Pine Nuts, Corn, Manchego Cheese & Cilantro in a crisp Wonton, served with a Chipotle Cream Sauce. These were good with a flaky crust and a creamy flavorful filling.

Next up was our main courses!

Starlily ordered the Nirvana Poached Benedict: Brioche Bread Topped with Avocado, Caramelized Onion, Tomato, Poached Egg, & Beurre Blanc Served with House Potatoes.

Fitty ordered the Nirvana Rancheros: Chili Cheese Corn Bread Topped with Pinto Beans, Eggs Over Easy, Avocado, Tomato Sour Cream, Cilantro and Salsa Verde. This looked so good, and honestly was a close second for me.

10YT and I both ordered the Heirloom Tomato Sandwich: Fresh Baked Sourdough Baguette with Organic Heirloom Tomatoes, Fresh Mozzarella, Smoked Bacon, Arugula & Basil Aioli with Thyme Paprika Fries. This was a good, solid caprese style sandwich. The bacon, of course, gave it a little extra oomph. However, it wasn't write home amazing, you know? The fries were also good, but not orgasmic or anything. I was happy, but not really elated.

Dessert was up next, and Starlily and I planned ahead by ordering some bacon to put on ours. ::grin::

This is the dish that made my brunch. Grand Marnier Glazed Figs with House Made Goat Cheese Maple Ice Cream. Now, if you're not a goat cheese person, this will probably gross you out. See, the maple ice cream was not simply made with goat cheese - I had envisioned an ice cream where they melted the goat cheese into the cream. No, this was maple ice cream with CHUNKS of goat cheese! Kind of a weird thing, but it grew on me quickly. The figs were delicious, the maple ice cream sweet and creamy, and the goat cheese added just a touch of savory to keep it from being too cloying, not to mention some texture. Again, you need to be a goat cheese lover to appreciate it. Otherwise, it's probably just gross. I have to say though, that crumbling a piece of bacon over it took it to a whole 'nother level. I don't think it would have been even half as good without that bacon (hear that Nirvana Grille??).

10YT got the House Baked Fuji Apple Pie, with a Flaky Butter Crust, Spiced Apples with Fresh Whipped Cream. It was good and true to the description, had a very flaky, tender crust.

Fitty got the Molten Chocolate Bundt Cake, which was rich and filling!

Overall, it was a good meal, but I can't say the Nirvana Grille is a new favorite. One thing that left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth was our server. He was great throughout the meal, and we left him a tip that was somewhere in the range of 18 - 20%. Starlily went to the restroom, and we waited for her outside. Apparently he approached her when she exited the restroom and asked her why we left such a small tip! She gave him an extra $10, and then came out and told us. I was shocked, so I went back in and worked the numbers with him until he realized HE made an accounting error! He gave me the $10 back without me having to ask, and all was good. However, I am shocked that he would even ask in the first place!!! Having a mother who worked in the service industry, and being in the service industry myself, I was brought up to tip well, but approaching a customer is NEVER acceptable in my mind. I say I would if I could, but I wouldn't.

Anyway, we decided we would toodle around Laguna (and walk off some of the champagne).

We wandered into LF. This place was a JOKE. In fact, we could barely talk, we were laughing so hard. Obviously, this place doesn't sell a lot, because 90% of the store was 60-80% off.

Can you believe someone would pay $150 for a cardigan with holes cut in it? Me neither.

These "recycled" t-shirts were somewhere in the range of $75. I swear they just went to goodwill, and cut out the sweaty armpits.

These were some hot ass boots Starlily found!

As you can see, 10YT couldn't even keep her face straight while she was sporting the cropped jean vest.

Rocking the skirt AND the vest!

Well, at some point, we were going to get kicked out of there since all we did was laugh at stuff and take pictures. So we moved on.

I did find these books at another store. I could certainly enjoy the Porn for Women now, and if I ever have my own spawn, How to Con Your Kid will come in handy. I'm evil, I know.

We headed down to the beach, since Fitty had been beach deprived all summer.

What an awesomely huge Great Dane!

Fitty got attacked by a wave while she was letting her toes enjoy the last moments of summer.

It was a fun brunch and a great day, and of course would not have been nearly as enjoyable without good friends. xxxooo

Monday, September 14, 2009

Green Smoothies, WW Style

So today I made a green smoothie! Here is my leader's recipe:

3/4 cup water
1 apple, cored but NOT peeled
1/2 banana
some peeled ginger
2 celery stalks
1/2 peeled cucumber
1 handful of parsley
2 large handfuls of spinach
1 Weight Watchers Lime Yogurt

3 points, 1 dairy and all your fruits and veggies for the day!

I liked that one, but I decided I wanted to try something with strawberries and basil!

So here are the ingredients I assembled:

3/4 cup water
One apple, cored but not peeled
1 package of strawberries, with the stems removed
1/2 cucumber, peeled
2 celery stalks
2 large handfuls of spinach
1 large handful of basil leaves
Lemon juice

I cut the apple and cucumber into smaller pieces and blended them up with the water before adding the leafy veggies, and then used the celery to push the leafy stuff down into the mix.

As you can see, it doesn't look very appetizing.

Especially in a glass!

But this was approximately two points, was very filling, and did provide all my fruits and veggies for the day! yay! I thought it tasted pretty good. I might not add as much basil next time, or at least make sure my strawberries are riper. I might even add a dash of balsamic next time as well. :) Go green!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

WW Weigh in, Week 31, Week 5 of Maintenance

Goal Weight: 156.0
Current Weight: 156.6
Difference: +0.6

I am shocked. As I said before, Labor Day was a total pig out fest, so I'm not surprised I am up. I am certainly surprised I am not up more! Especially since I had a surprise dinner meeting right before my weigh in. :/ But now on to bigger and better things - my lifetime weigh in is in ONE WEEK! So I gotta keep it together. The only temptations I will have this weekend are the same as I always face (i.e. no vacation to justify indulgence!). I have brunch on Sunday with some fabulous women ::thumbs up:: and I know H wants to go to the movies, which normally means theater popcorn ::eek!:: but that's about it. Plus my old WW leader gave us a recipe for her own green smoothie and I liked it. A lot! So I plan on filling in with that kind of stuff to keep my overall calorie intake in check. In fact, that's what I'm having for dinner. One of these days I will post a recipe with some piccies.

One week to my lifetime weigh in!!!!!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The bad part about being awesome

is that you feel too awesome to do anything else the rest of the week. :/

I haven't done jack shit since! I ate like a PIG over Labor Day weekend, I haven't been able to drag my butt out of bed in the morning to go work out, and I have totally found much better things to do after work since. I have never been a morning person, but working out in the morning totally works better with my schedule.

So, those of you who can drag your butts out in the morning, what's your secret? I need some new ideas!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Me = Awesome

I think I have shrugged off my self-given title of the Laziest Runner in the World. I ran my 18 miles today, at 4000 feet, alone. I even did it via the tedious 5 laps around a short loop just so I could refill my water bottles at regular intervals. This is what really makes me awesome - I did it without my garmin, a sport watch or even an ipod. I also did it without gatorade, shot bloks or Gu. ::duh duh DUH::

I realized I had forgotten to pack my gadgets about 20 minutes into the drive, but 20 minutes might have been 300 miles to someone trying to beat LA Labor Day traffic out of town. I actually cried, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I had reservations about running my first 18 miles by myself, but I really had no idea how I could finish a run without my interval timing or music! Music is the worst part - how the hell was I going to do this? My unsympathetic husband told me to "Just do it"

I get up at 6:00 am, because it was supposed to be hitting 80 degrees shortly after 10:00 am. I scrounged around my friend's kitchen, and found some sugar and salt, so I made a homemade sport drink, and set out. It was cold, but I knew it was going to heat up. The first lap was okay. The seoond lap was harder. When I stopped after the third lap, I wasn't sure I could finish. Two more laps seemed like an eternity!

Halfway through the third lap, I made a bargain with myself. I would skip the final stop, because going back to the house to fill up and then having to run again would kill me and my motivation, which was already waning. Instead, I would run the two laps straight through, and let myself stop at Rite Aid for a Powerade and a treat. So that's what I did!

So all in all, I feel pretty accomplished - and that's a total understatement. I know I ran the mental run today for sure. And guess what!? It wasn't that bad!!!!

Actually, it was. I wouldn't go as far to say I would rather chop off my right arm than run such a long distance without my ipod ever again, but it's close. Let's just say I will be WAY more vigilant about packing my gadgets in the future. Thank you, loyal blog readers - the only reason I tried it and completed it was just so I could claim it on this blog. Strange but true. Happy Labor Day!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

WW Weigh in, Week 30, Week 4 of Maintenance

Goal Weight: 156.0
Current Weight: 155.6
Difference: -0.4

Same as last week, which is a major shocker to me! I didn't track, other than to realize that I was going to go over. :/ But no harm, no foul right? And here I go into yet another weekend full of bad for me food (it's my Annual White Trash Weekend, don't you know!). I am also supposed to run 18 miles. In the high desert. By myself. UGH So do I drag my ass up at O'dark Thirty to try and get it in before it gets too hot? Or do I drag myself further up the grade where it's cooler, but also 7000 feet or so. Decisions, decisions!

The positivity challenge is not going great, but it's not going bad either. I'm not really negative this week, but I am still complaining. Better get a grip on that. :oP Have a wonderful Labor Day everyone!