Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Shittons of News (and fat)

Wow, once again, time flies. Really, I have been so disconnected from so many things lately, I would have forgetten I even had a blog, if it wasn't for all the spammers. But anyone who still has me on their reader deserves an update. So, here goes nothing...

One of my favorite people, Mrs. 10YT, turned me on to an IVF Clinical Trial! I have passed all the preliminary screening and now have my consult on September 15! H isn't quite on board yet - he is worried that I'm going to get cancer or our kid will have three legs or something. I'm not worried because the drug they are testing is already used widely in Europe. It would be a sweet deal - not only would the initial IVF be covered in full, any FET's done after would also be covered, since those little embryos would also be a part of the study. An amazing opportunity for sure. I will have some out of pocket expenses if I need to get all the diagnostic testing done again, but even that's a bargain. It's scary and exciting that I could be a mom in the next year - Eeeek! But let's not count my chickens before they hatch.

Other than that, I am a fat ass. I gained about 10 pounds while training for my last marathon... and then I gained 10 more. I just can't seem to stop eating. I'm sure it's stress, especially since my husband still isn't working. 19 months and counting. And it's getting pretty old. Oy vey.

So here I am, a good 18 pounds above my WW goal weight, and almost the weight I was when I started WW again about 18 months ago. When I think about how long it took to lose that weight, it makes me feel stupid and silly for letting myself go so far. I can't fit into any of my pants, so I have been wearing dresses to work, and of course, the chafing from the chub rub is not pleasant. I just can't seem to get that part of my brain to click back into healthy eating mode. I also can't get too motivated to run either, since I only have a half coming up (and coincidentally, might not be able to run it if I start and IVF cycle! Topic for another blog post, maybe once I know something). And I can't really justify spending the $40 a month to go back to WW. It's also the shame thing too - just 2-3 months ago, I was lifetime and an example. Now I'm fat again. :P

Oh well, today is the first day of the rest of my life.

9 comments:

  1. I'm sorry about the weigh gain, my dear. It's something most of us struggle with!! Try not to stress out too much. You lost a ton of weight at one point, so now you know how to do it, so you can definitely do it again when you're up to it!

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  2. The IVF clinical trial sounds really exciting! Wishing you nothing but good luck with it!

    PS I *think* I may have seen you at the AV Journey show on Sunday :)

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  3. I'm rooting for you! On the weight loss, the IVF and the hubbers re job.

    HUgs girl friend hope to see you soon.

    Shake off the shame girl- no one is judging you! We've all been there!

    Love ya tons! You can do this!

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  4. Sweet deal on the IVF! Good luck :)

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  5. I'm really hoping you get into the Study! Good Luck!

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  6. I'm so glad you posted. I will keep my fingers crossed on the study and job search for you! (hugs)

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  7. The clinical trial sounds really exciting and like a great deal! I hope your H gets more comfortable with the idea since it's such a great opportunity.

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  8. I always gain weight during marathon training, too.
    Best of luck in the clinical trial!

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