Thursday, December 30, 2010

Here we go again

I feel like a relapsed addict. Disgusted with myself. One year ago I was basking in my newly acquired Weight Watchers Lifetime Membership. Now I'm fat and depressed. I need Jillian Michaels to come kick my ass and make me cry, except I'm aware of why I'm eating, and a part of me doesn't care.

Tonight I go back to face my Weight Watchers leader. Kinda not looking forward to it, because I feel like a failure. You know all those weight loss success stories which have the fine print "results not typical"? I'm apparently the typical.

The one part I am looking forward to is learning about the new plan. It might be harder to learn but I think it might force me to eat healthier overall. But we shall see. I am going to make a concerted effort to each much healthier in the new year as well. Part of me wonders if poor nutrition or my fat ass made my eggs bad or my ute toxic. In a way, I know that I shouldn't blame myself, but I still wonder if I could have done something differently. Maybe I should also start therapy in the new year. Can't hurt, right?

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