Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Good thing we have insurance.... NOT.

Insurance is not going to pay and while we were waiting for them to tell us (which, by the way, they never did bother to communicate this), the hospital sent us to collections. Yay! I've already had one breakdown today, and I am on the verge of a second. All I want to do is crawl into a corner and cry. And cry. And cry. I am so damn tired of having to be strong, having to be the responsible one.

Thank goodness I'm not pregnant. Because I can't afford to have the kid in a hospital for fuck's sake. I guess I better start working on a second job. Too bad nobody would pay to see my fat ass on a pole.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Reality of Marathon Running

While it seems like an amazing burn of calories, it is not enough to counteract a supersized combo meal. So sad that a workout's worth of calories can be eaten in mere minutes. And I have done my share of eating through a workout.

This needs to stop. I am embarrassed to say that I haven't weighed in with Weight Watchers since the end of March. It's now June, people. I am probably 10 pounds heavier than I should be, and maybe close to 20 pounds over where I want to be. I don't know exactly, because I conveniently forget to weigh myself.

Of course, yesterday was my first day back on the wagon! I counted all my calories. I went to my Weight Watchers meeting. I came home and smelled the deliciousness of wild mushroom pizza my saboteur of a husband lovingly baked for himself. Bastard. This is grounds for divorce IMO.

Next wagon I need to jump on is working out. Running doesn't count. I need some cross-training STAT. The problem is I'm so not motivated. I am not a morning person (how I ever became a runner, I'll never know) so usually I would rather poke needles in my eyes instead getting up before work to hit the gym. Too bad needles don't slim your belly. I was doing lunchtime workouts, but sometimes it's hard to get out of the office. Especially when you have crops to harvest in Farmville. Blame Diane for that one.

I should make some goals public, even though this post is more about the whining. I need to start doing some cross-training. I need to start doing some weight training. I should be forcing myself to kick my own ass with speed and tempo work, especially when I am going to beat myself up over being slow. Maybe it's time to break out the Wii.

Maybe I'll contemplate all of this over a glass of wine tonight.


No, not for me, although I will post about my rapidly expanding ass and teenage style breakouts soon enough.

What do you think of my new Blog look? ::twirl::

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

San Diego Rock & Roll (or I can't believe I haven't blogged in over a month)

Goodness. I'm guessing that if you are reading this, you must have me on Google Reader, because clicking on a blog manually with no updates in practically a century gets really old, really fast. I just haven't felt like blogging much - not a whole lot new going on, nothing exciting for sure, and it got old to complain about the same stuff over and over. But now I have new stuff to complain about! Haha.

I finished in 5:21:22, 1:45 slower than my Nike Marathon. So I ran the San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon and I did not PR. I have plenty of excuses why, as I'm sure most runners have in similar situations.

Excuse #1: Of course, this race was all about getting my TNT Participants trained and across the finish line. It had nothing to do with my own race, you know?

Excuse #2: I was training at a 12-15 minute mile pace, much slower than I did for my first marathon

Excuse #3: We decided to do 4:1 intervals instead of the 5:1's we did during Nike. That's about 11 extra minutes that we were walking instead of running! Okay, now that I have figured it out, it's not much of an excuse.

Excuse #4: I was running a lot during May because of the Nike Challenge, and I didn't taper enough.

Excuse #5: It was really really hot.

Excuse #6: A lot of the course was slanted AND it was hilly! And the roads were all torn up too! There were many times I was worried about tripping or rolling an ankle, and that would have sucked.

Excuse #7: I'm about 10 pounds heavier (weight makes you slower - did you know that?) and of course my nutrition was not exactly on target.

Excuse #8: The course was mentally brutal with us being able to see most of the end about 2/3 of the way through. Believe it or not, knowing you have a mile left mentally is better than actually seeing how long a mile is.

I can go on and on. It was actually kinda fun to type all those excuses out! This race was brutal - I would personally like to bomb Fiesta Island into oblivion after running on it. I don't know how to describe it, other than to say at mile 19 you could pretty much see the rest of the course (on Fiesta Island), and what you couldn't see was easily visualized. "I still have to run THAT much further?" kept going through my brain. Yes, I do realize a marathon is 26.2 miles, but I really try to push that into the back of my brain when I'm running. Seeing it made the reality of it made it all too real.

The heat was a killer too. There were people dropping like flies. People passed out on sidewalks with medics around them. People throwing up. People getting IV fluids. Craziness. Thank goodness for my salt stash! Salt is disgusting, but pretty much required on days like that. And it made the Cytomax they were passing out on the course actually taste okay. Not great, but okay.

So, here is the point in time when I examine my excuses and how I can improve. Because that's what an athlete does, right?

1. I have to get back to my Weight Watchers goal weight, and maybe a little further. Excess weight makes you slower, and it also doesn't look great in race photos. I usually look like I'm in pain anyway, even when I smile, so being a little thinner could offset that. Better nutrition would probably help too. Just saying.

2. I need to put more emphasis in my overall conditioning. Weight training and cross training can only help. Speed and tempo work midweek would also help. I am extremely proud that I was able to cut 1-2 minutes per mile off of my long training run pace for the Marathon (proves that long runs aren't about pace, just endurance), and I think if I focused on my midweek training runs pace I could really improve. Speedwork is painful though, which is why I have been avoiding it. Just tell me to suck it up.

3. I need to work on my mind games to trick my left brain. Visually seeing the rest of the course really threw me, but if I had been prepared, I would have had those brain games ready to go. I would have also thought more about my playlist. I just threw some music together, since I only wear one headphone and it's usually only background music. I haven't really had a situation where I was relying on my music during a hard part of a race. Until Mile 21 of this one where "It's Raining Men" came on and all of a sudden I decided to sing. It was probably prompted by lack of glucose in my brain, but as I was singing, I was laughing and all of a sudden my legs didn't feel all crampy any more. It was a great feeling, and I proceeded to try and find another song that made me feel the same way, something I could do some more race-time karaoke to, but none of the other songs worked that way. Note to self: More Disco.

4. Best advice - don't try to PR a summer race in a warm climate. 'Nuff said.

So, will I run SD R&R again? Only in the year I go for my Four-titude medal, and only because it's so close and convenient. Too many other races to run!