Thursday, March 3, 2011

One step forward, two steps back

I'm not sure where to start, other than my life was essentially flipped upside down. In the wake of this upheaval, I am reeling, trying to regain my sanity and balance. I skipped Weight Watchers tonight, because I haven't been eating healthy or even tracking. In fact, I haven't been eating much at all. I'm also sick with a nasty head cold. I just didn't have the stamina or the will to sit in a room discussing weight loss after stepping on a scale.

I'm also pretty much a loner, especially when I'm feeling bad. It's not that I don't have friends to confide in. I do, and I do confide. But I don't want company. Not right now. Everyone has offered help in multiple ways, and offered to have dinner, or to have me come stay with them, but I don't want to. I want to spend nights resting in my own house, my own bed, with my dogs and my Tivo. I may not completely relish the silence, but it's much preferable to the effort that comes with being around people, even people you are close to.

The other consideration is my IVF cycle that we were supposed to start at the end of March, may be postponed. I don't know yet, because life is still uncertain. A lot could change in the next few weeks. I feel this sense of desperation in the pit of my stomach, but choosing to go forward with an IVF right now is probably not the most prudent thing I could do.

Well, one day at a time.

7 comments:

  1. Hey Dip,

    Noticed you've been quiet lately. What's going on?

    Why the flip upside down? Thinking good thoughts for you whatever is going on...

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  2. I'm not sure what's going on, but want you to know that I'm here if you ever need anything. Thinking of you. xoxo

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  3. I hope whatever is going on works out and things get back on track. Sending happy thoughts your way!

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  4. Not sure whats up, but I wanted to send some good thoughts your way!! TGIF! :)

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  5. I stumbled upon your blog, and read a few of your entries. You're so funny! I'm sorry you're feeling a bit blue though :/

    I hope you cheer up soon.

    I was thinking about joining weight watchers. I need to lose a lot of weight. I lost it in high school and gained it all back plus in college.

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  6. oh no! what's making you sad, friend? Hang in there and let me know how I can cheer you up.

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  7. We are soul sisters in many ways and I love finding that out. I get it - turtle away if you need to. I'll still be here whenever you're ready to re-emerge.
    XO

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Thank you for commenting!