Friday, July 15, 2011

Breeders Vs Infertiles: A Bitter Altercation

First of all, I want to say thanks to all my readers and commentators. Sometimes I don't realize how many people I have touched. I may come off as a bitter bitch most of the time, but it does make me feel better to hear that I have touched other people's lives in a positive way.

But this post is about the bitter side. Which is kinda funny, because half the time my "bitterness" is really just my dark sense of humor. Since sarcastic and/or humorous fonts have yet to be invented, I find I am misunderstood on a regular basis.

But I digress. It seemed like the clash of the titans (Infertiles vs. Breeders) started with a certain Twitter follower. I normally get two kinds of followers (aside from spam): people who follow me to get a follow back (businesses, marketers, etc.) and people who have something in common with me (usually Infertiles, sometimes endurance sports athletes, liberals, etc.). This week, smack dab in the middle of bedrest, I get a follower who is a self-described "anti-feminist" and a self-proclaimed "breeder" who also specifies that she has 9 kids and one on the way. Please note: if you have your 10th child on the way, the term "breeder" is redundant.

I took offense. Her tweets were protected, so I couldn't see the type of things she posts, I only had her Twitter profile, and guess what - I was OFFENDED. Believe it or not, I was mostly offended by her calling herself an anti-feminist! Being the liberal, wanna-be vagina warrior that I am, I find that kind of self-loathing abhorrent. But then there was the "breeder" part, which is a slap in the face to someone in my current position. So I bitched about it on Twitter, which is my Al Gore given right, for fuck's sake. I couldn't see any reason why this woman would want to follow me, unless it was to either hurt me or try to convert me, and neither is welcome. I have nothing in common with a conservative breeder, and that's what got me in trouble.

Someone was offended by that comment, apparently in addition to other comments I have made. She said I was rude to pregnant women and mothers. She said she couldn't stand to read my rude and condescending tweets any longer and was going to unfollow me. I love how she told me! Gotta love someone who makes a point to try and hurt you. All because I was offended and announced it. That, of course, became Twitter drama, which was actually pretty damn funny. What wasn't funny is that this particular person suffered from infertility and underwent IVF's herself. What? She lived through it and doesn't get my feelings? That, I have a hard time comprehending.

So let me set the record straight. I don't hate mothers just because they have kids and I don't. Believe it or not, many of my friends are mothers. Some of them are mothers after infertility, and some of them didn't have any trouble at all. Just because I make jokes about "stoopid fertiles" and condemn a few mothers' self-absorbed actions does not make me anti-fertile. For a Fertile to get pissed at me for this is kinda like a suburban soccer mom being offended by a homeless person scoffing at her Mercedes. First World Problems, bitches.

For the record, I am bitter at the Universe and people who shit on the gifts they are given. People who are lucky enough to have a child, but smoke/drink/do drugs during pregnancy, harm or neglect their child. That's bullshit. I am also bitter at fertile people who don't have empathy for infertiles. I don't think it's so hard to imagine what it would be like, at least a little. To be fair, I also don't have respect for people who lack empathy for the poor, the homeless, or the hungry. Basically, fertile or rich, you aren't very far from the other side, so have some compassion.

Therefore, I don't plan on changing my outlook, my sense of humor or the way I Tweet. If you are that insecure, I can't help you, but you are entitled to your feelings, just like I am entitled to mine. Let's just not make a big deal about the unfollow - do it quietly, like it's meant to be.


  1. :-( I don't understand why people just want to cause drama. Seriously if you are offended by a stranger why would you want to spend time creating and dealing with them/drama? I don't get it.

  2. you have every right to be bitter I know I am!!!

    I got a follow request from the same breeder and was like wtf did you even read my profile???

    stupid assholes lol

  3. Wow the nerve of some folks. Why can't they just quietly drop off the earth. Okay so that is a bit extreme but I do have to agree with you that some folks should just unfollow us quietly rather than make a big stink.

  4. I follow you because u are real. U say what we all think but are too afraid to say. U are funny, u touch my heart, and dont u ever fucking change!
    I had stage 4 endometriosis... but was insanly lucky enuf to get pregnant twice. Believe me, I KNOW how lucky I am, I appreciate it, and I dont hold ANY of your thoughts or feelings against you. I'd feel exactly the same way if I were u and I'm rooting for u at every moment.
    Dont hold back, dont change, and keep the blogs coming, its therapeutic, so consider it manditory.

  5. Since I know you IRL I will totally back you up regarding the "anti-feminist". I will do this by providing the example that you totally grab up my kid and squeeze her like she were your own. You don't hate her and you certainly don't hate me for having her! You are loving and kind and very open-minded and stuck in a really shitty situation. The majority of us empathize with you. So just keep on keeping on. The anti-feminist can kiss the fattest part of my white ass.

  6. I love you, Dip. You had me at Al Gore given right.

  7. You are hilarious and real, saying it like it is. Don't ever change :-)


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