Friday, July 29, 2011

How many?

Just one.


I am thrilled. I am just thankful to be pregnant. Yes, a part of me was hoping for twins, just because this is most likely our last chance for 100% biological children. Two and done, right? I would have been happy with triplets too, even if I would also be terrified! But I am thrilled with one. One is more than I expected, one is all I truly asked for. I don't have to worry about the complications that come with multiples, I am less "high risk" so I have more choices. I can afford to buy the beautiful, slightly more expensive and slightly larger crib we were looking at, instead of choosing smaller, cheaper versions that would fit in the nursery with 1-2 mates. I have more choices when it comes to delivery. I can breastfeed without having to do it in tandem. I don't have to buy the big ass car that would fit multiple carseats in addition to dogs and cargo. The list goes on.

But I am also sad for all the embryos I lost. The ones that ceased to thrive in my womb. Even though they aren't miscarriages because they never implanted, they were alive and now they are not. Five embryos transferred, and only one survived. I am so thankful and happy for the one that made it.

And there are still the other family building options that were going to be on the table if this IVF failed: Embryo adoption, donor egg, and the adoption of a child. Those will still be available, and I will love my next child just as much, no matter how they arrived in my arms.

8 comments:

  1. I can't wait to meet him/her... 2012 is going to be AWESOME!

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  2. Love you and that little, tiny baby :)

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  3. Oh CONGRATS on a great U/S!! SO fabulous!! :)

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  4. oh sweetie, I never thought of it in terms of the embies that ceased to thrive. :( But you are definitely doing right by your singleton by rejoicing in it!

    This has been such a happy week!

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  5. Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you have an easy pregnancy and a happy & healthy 9 (10) months!

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  6. Sometimes its bitter sweet. Often we overlook what didn't come to fruition but yet its still good to bask in the happiness of the one that survived. I'm glad that you are acknowledging those that didn't make it too. I am really happy that one did implant and I'm cheering for that one to make to the grand finale'.

    I hope that you'll continue to do blog postings through out your pregnancy as I like to read them and know one of my infertile friends has beat the odds.

    I too always dreamed of twins and have it done in one shot. Now I'd just be happy with one and adopt another.

    Good luck!

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  7. So happy for you! I know that feeling of being a little sad for the ones that didn't stick around, but after going through all that we have, a high risk pregnancy with twins (or triplets!) would be so hard. I'm already neurotic enough with just one on board! Hoping that a year from now we will have our little ones in jogging strollers and can meet up for a post-baby marathon somewhere!

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  8. I am truly sorry for your loss but still thrilled for the little embaby that made it. Many, many more well wishes.

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