Saturday, July 2, 2011

What day is it today? I lost count

So, I think today is day 12 of stims. I don't even want to count any more! Today we were on the better ultrasound machine, but I think it might also measure smaller? These follie scans are not an exact science as I am realizing. Today my lining measured 10, my right had 17, 15, 14, 12, 11 and my left had two 7's. Doc thinks that we will have a Wednesday retrieval, which means a Monday trigger. I don't know if my follies will be ready.

Sometimes I wonder how much bad stuff my doc isn't telling me, like if my E2 levels indicate those little follicles aren't going to catch up at all. I guess what I should be hoping for now is that we get at least one good embie from this and Austin Danger Powers (as my husband is affectionately calling him) survives and thrives his thaw.

Today is also a weird day for me. I'm 38 now, pushing 40. I have to deal with SIL being pregnant with #2. And my grandma wrote new a letter with my birthday card telling me all about my little cousin being pregnant with #2 as well. Unfortunately for her offspring, this particular cousin got knocked up the first time with her 30 something drug dealer boyfriend. Did I mention she was barely 18 when that happened. She had her daughter taken away from her too, because she was too loaded to feed her. Of course, now they say she's clean, got married to the previously mentioned boyfriend, and is pregnant with their second.

I don't know why the universe has such a sick sense of humor. Sometimes I'm sad for me. Sometimes I'm sad for others. Sometimes I'm angry at the world. Other times I'm angry at myself. Sometimes I'm angry at my husband. Sometimes I'm just angry.

I'm still as hopeful as can be expected. I haven't heard from my the RE, so the plan is the same: 450 gonal-f, 150 menopur, ganirelix, back in the am.

1 comment:

  1. I just can't figure out why other people are able to have kids so easily and we aren't. Its annoying to say the least.

    Good Luck!

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