Friday, February 24, 2012

Defeated

I give up on life. Except I don't have giving up in me. I do what I need to do, but I'm screaming inside. I can't do anything right. Nothing is going right. I often think it's me. I have bad karma from a past life. My negativity pulls negativity towards me. I just don't have the right outlook.

Except I always get cut down right about the time I think something is finally going to go right. Right about the time I start to believe my pregnancy might actually be viable, my baby's heart ceases to beat. Right about the time I think I love my job, the floor drops out from under me. Am I actually a bad person, and just delusional to think I am not?

Sometimes I feel like anything good that happens to me is just the universe setting me up for more heartbreak. I don't know how much more I can take.

2 comments:

  1. I don't know you but I've watched your journey for a while and I can't tell you how much I hate what's happened to you. Remember always, life is something you live, not something that happens to you. You are in charge. Yes, many obstacles may be thrown in your way, but they do not take away your power. You always have choices. Make your life what you want it to be and leave Defeat in the Dust.

    You have brains in your head,
    You have feet in your shoes,
    You can take yourself
    Any direction you choose.
    -Dr. Suess

    Wishing good things for your life and state of mind,
    Jenna

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hope that things soon look up for you. Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete

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