Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Healthier than I thought

So, my new PCP apparently has the fastest lab ever. Blood work is back. Believe it or not, most everything was perfectly normal! Weird because I have had worse blood work in the midst of a way healthier lifestyle. The only thing that was slightly off was my cholesterol - I haven't had cholesterol under 200 in years, but when I'm running I at least get my HDL through the roof and my LDL in the basement. Not this time - HDL was 78 and LDL was 148. If I was still running fulls, those numbers would be reversed.

I forced myself to run today. I hemmed and hawed and came up with multiple excuses, but then just did it anyway. That felt good. Of course halfway through I lost my mojo. Fortunately, I wasn't on a treadmill, I was out in the wilderness, so I had to get back to my car. I made it back through a lot of walking. But at least I did it.

If I keep forcing myself, maybe I will eventually remember that I love to run, and that will affect my outlook on life. That's the plan. I've also decided to sign up for the Nike Marathon again. I'll find the money somewhere.

Monday, March 26, 2012

An OB is not an RE

I have been meaning to get my annual check up done soon as well as consult with the OB my RE recommended. You see, in this teeny, tiny, small town, there are no RE's, only OB's. So when I started spotting right about O time (not to be confused with O-town) and spotted all the way to my period a whole week early, I figured it was time to make an appointment. I was probably jumping the gun a bit.

My appointment started with a pregnancy test. Ha! I could have saved them the test. Apparently when other people have random weird cycles and bleeding, they are pregnant. Unfortunately that doesn't really hold true in Dip's world. The other possibilities are STD's (no) and anovulatory cycles. Which means I need to start charting/OPKing/etc.

So, what did I get out of the appointment? Not much. He thought that maybe I should be on Metformin. But I don't have PCOS.... or do I? He thought that maybe I did, because apparently lack of cysts on your ovaries doesn't mean lack of PCOS. Huh? But then instead of prescribing Met, he said to ask my RE. You know, my RE that is 340 miles away and I haven't seen since September.

But that brings me to my next dilemma. My health. Now, I do care about my health, but I tell ya, it doesn't mean as much to me in my current state. I'm depressed, I know it. Not depressed enough that I can't handle it, and not depressed enough to take meds. I probably could take meds, but I don't want to. Right now, I'm in a funk and really couldn't care less. In the past, most of my motivation came from preparing my body for pregnancy. Preparing for IVF, giving my uterus and ovaries their best shot at conceiving. But it never worked, and now I have no faith that it will work. It's hard to muster up the motivation when there is no foreseeable benefit. Yeah, I could be healthy, but my depression doesn't care how long I live or how healthy I am while I'm living.

So anyway, I am waiting for the rest of my bloodwork to come in. Today I am eating crap and drinking wine. Enjoy it now, because tomorrow the axe will fall. I guess I will know more about my body than any OB, and I will somehow have to find the motivation to be a healthier person.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Quick Easy French Bread

I wanted to pin this recipe, but of course, Pinterest won't let me pin a recipe without a picture, and there was no picture. So I had to take my own. Just so I can share it with my Pinterest pals. This may not be the most refined bread and is certainly not what I would call artisan, but it's really easy if you have a mixer with a dough hook, and is super fast. And my husband loves it!

(from Cooks.com)

1/4 c. warm water (105-115)
1 pkg. dry quick-rise yeast
Pinch of sugar

1 tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 c. plus 2 tbsp. warm water (105-115)
3 1/2 - 4 c. flour
1 egg white and 1 tbsp. water

Combine 1/4 c. water, yeast and sugar in a small bowl; let stand 5 minutes. Add sugar, salt and remaining water. Mix well. Gradually add flour, mix well, and knead 5 minutes. Let rise 15 minutes in a warm place.

Divide dough into two parts. On a lightly floured surface roll out dough with a rolling pin to get air bubbles out. Then roll up jelly-roll style and turn ends under and smooth out. Place on a greased cookie sheet. Cut 3 diagonal slashes across loaves. Combine water and egg white; mix well and gently brush on loaves.

Preheat oven to 300. Boil kettle of water. Pour boiling water in shallow pan on lower rack of oven. TURN OFF OVEN. Set sheet on rack above. Let rise until double and then take pan of water out; turn oven to 425 degrees and bake 10 minutes; reduce heat to 375 degrees and bake 8 minutes longer. Makes 2 loaves.

Your turn!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Change Your Thinking

This was one of those uplifting emails that you are supposed to forward to 30 of you closest friends for fear of bad luck. I never forward that stuff on, but I thought the message was lovely. So in case you haven't seen this yet...

It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking..

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'


There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .'

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I lost count

I know I can look it up, since my stats are readily available on the internet, but I have forgotten how long H and I have been TTC. This is a sign, right? A sign I am moving on.