Monday, March 26, 2012

An OB is not an RE

I have been meaning to get my annual check up done soon as well as consult with the OB my RE recommended. You see, in this teeny, tiny, small town, there are no RE's, only OB's. So when I started spotting right about O time (not to be confused with O-town) and spotted all the way to my period a whole week early, I figured it was time to make an appointment. I was probably jumping the gun a bit.

My appointment started with a pregnancy test. Ha! I could have saved them the test. Apparently when other people have random weird cycles and bleeding, they are pregnant. Unfortunately that doesn't really hold true in Dip's world. The other possibilities are STD's (no) and anovulatory cycles. Which means I need to start charting/OPKing/etc.

So, what did I get out of the appointment? Not much. He thought that maybe I should be on Metformin. But I don't have PCOS.... or do I? He thought that maybe I did, because apparently lack of cysts on your ovaries doesn't mean lack of PCOS. Huh? But then instead of prescribing Met, he said to ask my RE. You know, my RE that is 340 miles away and I haven't seen since September.

But that brings me to my next dilemma. My health. Now, I do care about my health, but I tell ya, it doesn't mean as much to me in my current state. I'm depressed, I know it. Not depressed enough that I can't handle it, and not depressed enough to take meds. I probably could take meds, but I don't want to. Right now, I'm in a funk and really couldn't care less. In the past, most of my motivation came from preparing my body for pregnancy. Preparing for IVF, giving my uterus and ovaries their best shot at conceiving. But it never worked, and now I have no faith that it will work. It's hard to muster up the motivation when there is no foreseeable benefit. Yeah, I could be healthy, but my depression doesn't care how long I live or how healthy I am while I'm living.

So anyway, I am waiting for the rest of my bloodwork to come in. Today I am eating crap and drinking wine. Enjoy it now, because tomorrow the axe will fall. I guess I will know more about my body than any OB, and I will somehow have to find the motivation to be a healthier person.

3 comments:

  1. Totally understandable. Let us know the outcome of the blood work, please?

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  2. Drink up, sweetie. It's been rough. I hope you find your mojo again though. It makes me sad to see you sad.

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  3. FWIW, My sister doesn't have cysts but was diagnosed with PCOS due to blood work. I've heard of it a few times.

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