Friday, April 19, 2013

(Dog) Adoption Update

I had to add "dog" because I didn't want anyone getting excited. Hahaha! While that feels funny, I am approaching this much in the way that I approached my infertility.

First, you get really excited. You're going to start working on it, whether it was TTC or shopping shelters online and in person. You know you're a good person, you know you'll be a great (dog) parent! And then it doesn't seem to be working out. Month after month, or application after application, with no success.

You start to get a little desperate and reaching a little further - with infertility it was treatment, and with the dogs, it was Craigslist. And when that seemingly sure thing fell through, you feel horrible. Second guessing yourself even.

I have finally come back to the knowledge that whatever happens will happen for a reason. Once I realized that my eggs weren't up to snuff, I walked away from IVF. It's incorrect to say that don't want a child that doesn't have my DNA, but more that my race against time was no longer a race. If I'm not using my own eggs, I have all the time in the world, and can make decisions on my future children later. That was a hard lesson to grasp, but once I did, I felt so free. Still sad, but at least free from all the infertility chains that bound me.

Recently, I have come to the same feeling about adopting my dog. My current pup is actually fairly happy now. He's started chewing on his toys and treats again, and doesn't seem so sad. In fact, he seems happy and tired from all the extra attention and exercise he is getting. I'm not getting exercise, and ne of my reasons to get another (larger) dog was to inspire me to get out and run. Well, I have made the commitment to walk dogs for the local shelter so that excuse is done. I also met a littler of puppies while I was doing my training. Super adorable, and in many ways I feel like I could walk out with whichever puppy I wanted. But I had a moment where I remembered all the work a new puppy is. My dog is not playing nice with any of the older dogs he has met, so I have been told the answer is to find a young puppy - under four months - that has a submissive personality, as they will bond better. But then that means I have to raise a puppy. I have no doubts I can do it, and if I was in love with a particular puppy, I would probably do it gladly. However, while the puppies are cute, I'm not in love with any of them. If I took one, it would be my desperation to have a dog to motivated me, not my love for the puppy. That's not the right reason to take on a lifetime commitment like a dog. That dog deserves to be the love of someone's life.

So, I'm in a holding pattern, still looking for the perfect dog (which I may never find) but feeling much less desperate about it. That dog will come along when it's time. In the meantime, I will spoil the crap out of my current dog, and care for those unadopted dogs at the shelter, hoping that some extra attention and exercise will make them more adoptable.

2 comments:

  1. Very smart to hold off. You have to want the dog for the right reasons and I get that.

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  2. I am glad you are able to find peace in waiting. Your family will grow when the time is right.

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