Thursday, July 18, 2013

Where The Fuck Did That Come From?

My last post was just an exercise in futility - the fact that it has been almost 2000 days since I threw away my BCP pack and got giddy with the excitement that I would soon be with child. Of course, we all know how that turned out. If you don't, you can always look at the abbreviated History page.

My friend Rebecca asked if I were getting back into the TTC world. Wholeheartedly (I thought), No! But then again...

I have a friend who has PCOS and doesn't ovulate. She isn't interested in pursuing IVF or any other ART, drugs, etc. and I completely respect her for that. She is going to a Chinese medicine doctor, and being Chinese herself, she doesn't trust a Caucasian Chinese medicine practitioner. I have to respect her for that too.

Anyway, after seeing this Chinese medicine practitioner, who specializes in infertility, she is very excited for me to see this doctor as well. My initial response was "no way." Or more specifically, "NO WAY IN HELL AM I GOING TO THAT DARK PLACE OF INFERTILITY AGAIN." But now, here I am, thinking about it. I mean, a few acupuncture needles and some herbs. What's the harm?

This just illustrates how CFNBC fucks with your head. It's nearly impossible to make a full decision and stick with it. Or at least it is with me. Maybe I'm the dickhead here.

I don't have an appointment, yet, and I haven't made a single step towards the darkside. But I have considered using some of my leftover FSA money to purchase CBEFM sticks. What does that say to you?

Only that I'm an idiot.

4 comments:

  1. Thinking of you as you make your decision. I'll know in a month what way I'm headed. Still trying to get that stray cat inside my house to make it my fur baby.

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  2. I have second thoughts all the time, but thankfully they have not lasted long enough for me to pick up the phone and call the clinic. Im hoping they slowly disappear over time......

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  3. Yes, it is almost impossible to make a decision and stick with it. We were done, now we're going to keep NTNP until hubby's vasectomy in November. I really didn't see that one coming either. We're not idiots. We're just smart enough to acknowledge that there's nothing simple or cut-and-dry about this stuff. Matters of the heart are just so complicated. Huge hugs to you...

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