Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Wordless Wednesday

Actually, that title is a misnomer. I have plenty of words, but I do expect you to be wordless after reading!

Nutrition appointment last night, and a lot to process. We talked about my struggles to get grain out of my diet completely. By the way, one of my favorite salsa brands has CORN solids in it! WTF??? The food companies are really pissing me off. Ok, back to the appointment. We talked about symptoms, and that I haven't really felt different. Of course, I might be healthier, but I've never really been in tune with my body. That being said, I don't feel more energy and I'm certainly not jumping out of bed in the morning. My memory isn't better and I'm having a little trouble in my regularity department. Not a ton of trouble, but a little here and there. I've never been an every day without fail kind of person anyway, and I guess that's an issue!

She did some nutrient muscle testing, but I'm not exactly sure of the outcome. I'm not too worried because she did change up my protocol:

1. COMPLETELY grain free. No more excuses, no more fair food, no more sips of beer, no more accidental "oops I ate that" moments. On the straight and narrow! Which means I better not eat anything I didn't make myself, because after my salsa revelation, I'm not trusting the food mafia.

2. No more pasturized dairy. Towards the end of the appointment she said "Ok, continue what you're doing - no grain, no dairy..." Wha wha WHA? I actually told her I might kill myself if she took away my cheese and yogurt. So we compromised: only raw dairy. Now, I've been looking for raw dairy and nobody, I mean NOBODY, sells it here. However, good news for my belly (not so good news for my wallet) is that they started a food co-op that brings raw dairy to my town every few months! I may or may not have spent well over $100 in my first order....

3. I'm increasing the supplement that helps me digest fat

4. I have to be more consistent with the dry brushing

5. The Pièce de résistance. Wait for it....


Coffee Enemas.

Yes, you read that right. I'm apparently going to fill my colon with coffee, voluntarily, three times a week. 

Believe it or not, I've actually heard of coffee enemas before. I just never thought I would ever be doing it myself. This woman's power of persuasion is obviously top notch. I found it rather comical that she has tasked the best local, organic coffee roaster to roast special coffee for this purpose. It even says it on the label.


I showed the label to the husband, and he said that maybe he should try it. I. Was. Shocked. Then he asked what the bucket and tube were for. He didn't realize that it was a literal enema. He thought the word "enema" on the package indicated the strength of the coffee. Dork.

Aside from the fact that I have already bought the snake oil she was selling, I thought I should Google. I actually found several articles that said it was silly and potentially dangerous. Great. There were also lots of retail websites spouting the benefits. Ignoring those. But when the Weston Price website mentioned it as a beneficial practice, that convinced me. You see, the more research I do, the less I trust conventional medicine and nutrition. I feel there is too much corruption between medicine, insurance, the government and food companies. As Bill Maher says, "there is an axis of evil in this country between the food, pharmaceutical, and insurance industries."

One of the main reasons I am willing to try it is for years doctors have told me I had a fatty liver and general inflammation, but none of their conventional treatments helped. I've done the nutritional shakes, lost weight, exercised and stress management. I've even taken milk thistle. 

For any of you interested, or just have a morbid curiosity about what could be so wrong with me that it would justify all this, click here. This was the most comprehensive post I found about it.

Don't worry, I'll be sharing my experience with all of you. Stay tuned!! 

1 comment:

  1. I don't think I could give myself an enema, when I think of them I have horrible flashbacks to doing surgical bowel preps in nursing school on dirty old men. More power to you if you can..

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