Saturday, May 31, 2014

May Grocery Budget Results

Vons 5/18
Lea and Perrins $4.19
Coors Light $6.09
Total $10.86

Vons 5/19
2 dozen Happy Eggs $8.98
Ammonia $2.49
Chicken Thighs $17.61
Organic chicken thighs $11.41
Bananas $1.76
Bok Choy $1.79
Ginger $0.32
Serrano peppers $0.25
Cilantro $0.34
8 lb bag oranges $7.99
Mushrooms $7.96
Organic Romaine $5.00
Organic baby spinach $3.89
Kombucha $2.55
Total: 72.58

Vons 5/20
Ground pasilla pepper $2.38
Ground New Mexico Chili $1.19
Chile de arbol $1.09
Total: $4.66

Trader Joe's 5/25
Bag of organic red onions  $3.49
Mango smoothie juice $3.04
4 large artichokes $3.96
Peachy Canyon red wine $8.99
Bag of lemons $1.49
2 bags roasted cashews $14.98
Bag of avocados $3.49
Bag of limes $2.49
Turkey Sandwich $3.99
Bag of oranges $4.49
Bananas $2.09
Bag of grapefruit $3.99
Bag of sweet potatoes $3.99
Bag fee (because my husband didn't bring a reusable bag) $0.10
Total: $60.30

Month total: $496.25

First of all, I'm wondering if I forgot to include a receipt since I actually hit our budget. Second, Seriously, the husband needs to stop grocery shopping, and/or demanding stupid frivolous things. Of course, I've been hitting the kombucha pretty hard too...

Sunday May 18: Filet and Artichokes
Monday May 19: Chicken breasts with sweet potatoes and salad
Tuesday May 20: Asian chicken soup with bok choy
Wednesday May 21: Chicken curry with rice and spinach
Thursday May 22: Pollo asada (book club night)
Friday May 23: Leftovers
Saturday May 24: Leftovers
Sunday May 25: Leftovers
Monday May 26: Burgers with sauteed mushrooms, and caramelized onions 
Tuesday May 27: Tri tip and artichokes
Wednesday May 28: Grass fed beef taco salads
Thursday May 29: Hot Italian pork sausage with salad and artichokes 
Friday May 30: ground beef taco salads
Saturday May 31: tri tip with artichokes

Monday, May 26, 2014


Yes, I've been absent. Not blogging my positivity, not thanking the universe for those things I am grateful for. While I am trying to be super positive, we all know that it does not come naturally for me. As always, I seem to be struggling with optimal health. I'm perfectly fine, but not perfect, and my regular doctor doesn't see any issues. I guess I should be fine with that, because what would she do about it anyway? Try to put me on drugs that I won't take anyway?

And I've been worried about some friends. It seems hard to be positive when you don't believe in a supreme being with a master plan.

However, I saw this today. It made me laugh and it also made me feel a bit more introspective than I would otherwise, so enjoy!

Monday, May 19, 2014


I feel better today. Thank you for your comments and encouragement. It wasn't a perfect day, but I got a lot done on my day off, which always puts me in a better mood. I have an ambitious to do list for tomorrow as well. Bring it on!

As always, hubby came home late, but since I was off, I had dinner ready and we could relax and watch a movie. I'll sleep well tonight.

Today I am grateful for a warm home. I am grateful for snugly dogs. I am grateful for good books.

My random act of kindness today was letting a gentleman go ahead of me in line at the grocery store. I had a half full cart and he had just a few items in his arms.

Sunday, May 18, 2014


It only takes one minute event to shake my confidence. Last night was a wonderful party, there were a lot of people I don't get to see often. I'm glad I went. But it was also a lesson in how fragile my self esteem actually is.

There were speeches, discussing this woman's wonderful career. Her persistence, her tenacity and her incredible instinct for business. And this reminded me how different I am from her. I immediately began to think I didn't have any of those things. I thought about where I am now compared to where she was at my age, and I start feeling inadequate. I don't know where I am going with this job. I love it, but I don't see much room for growth. I still feel like I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, and I'm fucking 40 years old.

Then during her speech, she didn't mention me. I'm not saying I expected it, but it would have been nice. I realize she had a bigger impact on me than I did on her. But she did mention the person who took over my position when I left, and said she was like a daughter to her. Sting. Then she said that this person's daughter was a granddaughter to her. Double sting.

Of course, then the floodgates opened. Now I'm feeling insecure, not good enough because I have no career AND I have no children. I guess more people are willing to overlook the childless thing if you're a big career power player, right? And those with children can get away with not being as aggressive in the business world. And I'm suddenly feeling fat, sad, old, slow... you name it, I felt it.

But, my daily blog is supposed to be about being positive for a change. So what good can come of this? At least I'm more aware of what makes me feel this way, and knowing is half the battle. Knowing means I can reverse these feelings with meditation, positive self talk and mantras. So that's what I'm working on today.

Today, I'm grateful for all of you. Those who I know read and don't comment, but especially those who do leave me a note once in a while. Knowing that you're there and even remotely interested in my life does make me feel better. I'm also grateful for my resilience - how many times have I gone to a very dark place and recovered. I'm grateful I didn't go too far down the road of self destruction this time before realizing and making an effort to rectify. I'm grateful to have a roof over my head and enough money to buy healthy food for everyone in my family.

I have to remember that money and possessions aren't important. That if I have a job I like and I make enough to survive and have a little fun, that's enough.

My random act of kindness today - I technically have two. I gave my husband's cousin vouchers for a free ski ticket today, and I helped a family from India get the most out of their visit to the mountains. Having them thank me profusely and walk away with a smile, on their way to an adventure, was awesome.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Strong Women

Tonight I am going to celebrate the retirement of the best boss I've ever had. I haven't worked for her in ten years but I am happy to still be in contact with her. I learned a lot from her, and she is the reason I have my current job, the one that I love. Many talk about her, say she is a bitch, or worse. Really, the only thing she is guilty of is being a woman in a male-centric industry. In many ways, she has to be tougher than a man just to compete on an even playing field. She wasn't perfect, but she was supportive and protective of those that worked for her and did a good job. She never had children, claimed she never wanted them, but in many ways, I was one of her kids. I will miss her, but she is off to the next great adventure of her life and I wish her well.

I'm also out of new gratitudes, but I think it's okay to repeat some. It reminds me I have things to be grateful for, right? I'm so grateful for where I live today. I would love to be closer to my family, but this area is so beautiful and there is so much to do. I am grateful I don't have a long commute. I am grateful that we aren't breathing the smoke from the fires in southern California.

My random act of kindness today is allowing my coworker to get a lot of work done while I took over his business for the day, from open to close. In the immortal words of Rosalyn Rosenfeld in American Hustle, "Thank God for me." LOL

May Budget and Meal Plan

Von's 5/2
Mexican style beans $0.00
Gluten free crackers $0.00
The Happy Egg Company Dozen $4.49
2 mangos $1.00
Asparagus $2.28
Crimini Mushrooms $2.96
Coors Light $5.79
Total: 17.40

Amish Farm 5/7
2.12 lbs ground pork $12.72
1.03 lbs ground pork with organs $6.70
3.05 lbs hot Italian rope sausage $21.35
8 dozen eggs $48.00
Kombucha Ginger $5
Kombucha cranberry $5
Shipping $29.63
Total: $128.40

Trader Joe's 5/7
Electrolyte water $2.78
4 cans Coconut milk $3.96
Pet treats $2.49
Dog treats $2.99
Cashew Pieces $4.99
Whole organic cashews $7.99
Chia seeds $4.99
Coconut water $2.99
Cashew meal $4.99
Bag of lemons $1.49
8 artichokes $4.58
2 jars almond butter $13.98
Peanut butter $2.49
2 cans crushed tomatoes $3.18
Marinated mushrooms $2.99
Snack stick $0.99
Everyday seasoning $1.99
Spicy mustard $0.99
Thai chili paste $0.99
Sesame oil $2.29
Turmeric $1.99
Bananas $1.71
Total: 78.27

Von's 5/14
Pepper jack - $8.79
Red onion - $3.96
White onion - $1.48
Cilantro - $0.34
Bag of key limes - $4.49
Bob's Blue Cheese Dressing - $4.49
Ballast Point Beer - $8.04
Total: $32.35 - this is a perfect example as to how my husband should NEVER be allowed to grocery shop.

Trader Joe's 5/13
Olive oil $5.99
2 packages artichokes $4.58
Roasted salted cashews $6.99
3 lb bag organic sweet potatoes $3.99
Walnuts $7.99
2 lb bag apples $1.99
4 lb bag oranges 3.49
Organic garlic $1.49
Probiotics $14.99
Bananas $1.14
Total: 54.69

Whole Foods 5/13
Real salt shaker $3.99
Walnut oil $6.99
Almond oil $9.99
Vitamin water $1.59
Kombucha $2.99
Castor oil $10.39
Total: $36.74

Total this month: $347.85

I'm already mentally avoiding being over budget this month - I completely forgot to place my Amish farm order for the end of the month! Which means I will be keeping my fingers crossed that Von's has the Happy Eggs (the closest thing to my farm fresh eggs that's available in the local store). I really should be under budget this month, since we have been traveling or going to parties for half the freaking month so far. Unfortunately, that means we're over budget in almost every other aspect. Le sigh.

Thursday May 1: Italian sausage with salad and artichokes
Friday May 2: Grilled steak with salad, asparagus, mushrooms and grilled sweet potato wedges
Saturday May 3: Grassfed Beef burgers with roasted beets and cauliflower
Sunday May 4 - 6: Traveling for a funeral :(
Wednesday May 7: London Broil, salad and artichokes with homemade mayo
Thursday May 8: Spicy Italian Sausage in a homemade tomato sauce with peppers and spaghetti squash
Friday May 9: Balsamic Dijon chicken breasts with green salad
Saturday May 10: Chicken vegetable soup with bone broth
Sunday May 11: Out to eat
Monday May 12: Traveling!
Tuesday May 13: Traveling
Wednesday May 14: Leftover chicken soup and beef taco salads
Thursday May 15: Birthday party
Friday May 16: Pollo asada with salad and artichokes
Saturday May 17: Retirement Party

Friday, May 16, 2014


I do feel like I am living a more positive life, already. Many times during the day I think about something that is wrong, or not going the way I would like, but I then think about the positive spin I can put on it. If I can't think of a positive spin, I do find myself not worrying about it too much, and able to focus on the things that are good in my life. Such as "Don't sweat the small stuff, and most of it is small stuff!"

I have been watching presentations on the Thyroid Sessions, since along with fatigued adrenals, my thyroid is operating on a sub par basis. I have learned so much, but the information is overwhelming, you know? So many people, even if they are on the same page, they don't have the same opinions. I'm doing my best trying to decipher as best I can, what I should be doing. I don't think I've mentioned it, but while I have been eating mostly whole30-ish, I haven't stayed on whole30. What have I cheated on? A little wine here and there, and I did eat gluten while we were out of town for the funeral, and I had tortilla chips and a margarita on Mother's Day. Far from perfect, but that's okay. I forgive myself. I'm also spending more time accepting myself instead of telling myself I need to lose weight, run more, fit into those pants, etc. America the Beautiful, yo!

Today, I am grateful for my sense of humor. I'm also grateful for my real estate broker for getting my place rented! Last, I am grateful that my friends, their families and their homes are currently safe from the wildfires in San Diego. Fingers crossed that the rest of this fire season is uneventful for them.

My random act of kindness today was to dye my husband's hair. He can't do it himself, and he's not ready to be Clooney yet. Don't tell him I told you! ;)

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Afternoons in the Park

Today was a quiet, uneventful day at work followed by a small birthday celebration for a friend in the park. The best part about it is we could take the pup.You know, the super energetic crazy pup? Taking him made all the difference between relaxing tonight and not.

Today I am grateful for good friends, warm weather and happy dogs.

My random act of kindness, which was not so random, was going to my friend's birthday celebration and not nagging my husband about being the only one to bring charcoal, chips, beer, etc.


I had a minor panic attack today. Life was good, I was thinking positive and focusing on the happy. However, I got home and someone had dumped a bunch of cigarette butts on top of our wood pile. There was also a bottle of fuel stabilizer and a bit of charcoal. I have to say I freaked out. It's been three dry years in a row, and there are at least nine fires in Southern California. There were several fires that burned out of control last summer that killed our air quality, and we live right on a forest parcel in the middle of town. I just thought that it someone were trying to start a fire, it would be devastating to so many around us, but even worse, my poor dogs would likely burn to death. That thought alone threw me into a panic attack.

Side note: there are many people who would say I don't understand a mother's love because I don't have a child. However, I would be willing to bet they don't know the ferocity with which I love my dogs.

It took a few deep breaths, and a lot of talking - to my mom, my husband, my neighbors, and friends, and I finally calmed down. We figured out that whoever did this was probably not trying to start a fire, but just being stupid. The bucket of cigarette butts was from the upstairs unit where nobody is currently living, and the fuel stabilizer was also up there. It looks as though some kids got up there and just dumped stuff off the balcony. It also raised other concerns - I have been hearing things that sounded like someone upstairs, but I blew it off, thinking it must be the neighbors next door. However, when discussing the incident with my neighbors, they have also been hearing strange noises, and apparently so has my husband. I let our management office know and they are going to go into the unit to look. So that's the positive that came out of this situation - I think it brought us all closer together.

Today I am grateful for my simpler life. Living in a small town in the mountains and having a job that doesn't have long hours and is flexible, really gives me the freedom to do so many things, including giving blood, while also getting exercise and fresh air, wearing out my pups, etc. I am also grateful for my neighbors - even though they can annoy me sometimes, they are a good group and we watch out for each other.

My random act of kindness today is giving blood. I really wanted to donate double red blood cells, but they weren't looking for my blood type. They still wanted my pint though! :)

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

A Day Late

But it was worth it. I spent the 24 hours between Monday night and Tuesday Night on a whirlwind road trip with my husband and dogs. It was exhausting. It was a lot of driving. But it was also 24 hours I wouldn't have been able to spend with my husband otherwise.

I could dwell on not getting my normal sleep, the sheer number of hours I sat in the car, that I didn't get my run in, that my steps were far less than 10,000 (my daily minimum goal) and I ate off plan (WAY off plan!) but isn't time with your loved ones worth it? I'm reminding myself this as I sit here bleary eyed.

During the drive we were able to talk, to admire the beauty around us, and just be together. He took me to his favorite lake, where he learned to water ski, and we walked around with the dogs. Being in a car together for that long tends to grate on everyone's nerves - LOL the dogs had a minor altercation, but nobody was hurt so I know it was just squabbling and not true aggression. Hubby and I waited far too long to eat lunch and we were both a grumpy mess, but we were able to minimize the lashing out at each other. I'm really proud at how patient we were with each other!

We were able to have good, uninterrupted conversations on how we are going to improve our everyday life. He already knows he spends too much time at work. I expressed how having a crazy, disorganized house makes me feel and he agreed. I also told him how I want to prioritize sleep more, since many days he comes home so late that after we have dinner and spend some time together, its usually 11pm or later. I feel good for the future.

The three things I was grateful for yesterday: Being able to read - There was some downtime while hub was doing some work stuff and I am in the middle of a long but very good Wally Lamb. Not only am I reading an amazing story, but I'm also able to pass time in a more productive way than looking at Facebook (although I did a lot of that as well haha). I'm grateful that we were able to complete our trip with no incidents, accidents or injuries. I'm grateful to see a little more of what makes the person that is my husband. :)

I did not meditate, however. Unless you count being in nature meditation? ;)

I had limited access to people yesterday, but I was nice and smiled at every person in Whole Foods. And I was nice to my husband LOL

Tuesday, May 13, 2014


Today my husband asked me if I wanted to do a day trip to Lake Tahoe. I'm off tomorrow so I said yes. :)

I've been watching a bunch of documentaries on Netflix. The problem with that is I get very discouraged with the state of our country. In the last couple of weeks, I've watched documentaries about how an unrealistic ideal of beauty and/or weight has been crammed down our children's throats, how corporations are buying judges, how our government helps companies like Monsanto, shuts down small farms and refuses to ban harmful ingredients in cosmetics, and what a sham the pink ribbon campaigns are.

But I can't let this bring me down. I have to find the positive. At least people are making these documentaries. At least they are available on Netflix. I know the word is getting out, because I knew most of what I saw before I saw it. Knowing what I know helps me educate others, and maybe, eventually, this will change. Regardless, if I am educated, and can make decisions for myself. For example, I threw away about 75% of my makeup today. The only things I kept were things I couldn't find on my Skin Deep app and seemed fairly innocuous. I'm going to move towards making as much as I can to avoid as many toxins as possible.

Today, I am grateful for a good trail run through the forest. I am grateful my friend Laura is stable and still on the transplant list. I am grateful that we didn't hit a deer on our way up to Tahoe.

My random act of kindness... I know I must have done something, but I can't think of what.

I did complete an 8 minute meditation with a mb aromatherapy bath soak.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Image Crafting

The dangers of Image Crafting

What an interesting article! I have fallen victim to this phenomenon time and time again. Most of the time, it's more me being jealous of everyone else. Everyone else has a perfect life. They have perfect husbands. They have perfect kids. They do perfect things, have perfect vacations. I find myself getting caught up in jealous thoughts, wishing that I had kids, wishing my marriage was a little better, wishing I could afford extravagant vacations and yummy dinners out.

I have to remember that nobody's life is perfect, despite what they post online. That I am lucky to have the means to travel and the biggest reason I don't go to Europe or Mexico is because I don't like to leave my dogs behind. I live in a beautiful place, and while my marriage is not perfect, it's good. I don't have the children I wished I could, but I also don't have the tantrums, headaches and minor inconveniences that go with them. Life is good if you choose to look at it the right away.

Today, I am grateful for my mother - she's my best friend and I am able to talk to her almost every day. I am grateful that I have taken control of my eating and embraced real food in order to heal my body. I am grateful for Netflix that allows me to watch all kinds of awesome documentaries (as well as How I Met Your Mother).

My random acts of kindness today are a bit of a cheat, but I know working the front lines at work today made many people's day today. Plus I make my coworker laugh. That's a random act of kindness, right? ;)

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Letting Go

Today I got to work with some fun people - it just makes the day so much better. I'm also looking forward to a fun afternoon with friends and family, and a quiet night at home with my husband and dogs.

I also had the opportunity to watch a video session online about the role of the thyroid as it applies to conception/infertility, and at the end they spoke about stress. About how holding on to negative emotions, grudges, having resentments, etc. can affect your health. This made me so happy that I am doing this grateful, positive challenge and meditating. I've always wondered if people were turned off by the negative tone of so many of my blog posts. I feel like I needed that then - being positive just doesn't work when you've just miscarried and really don't have the option to get pregnant again. But now that I'm years beyond that experience, I feel like I'm ready. I'm even ready to let go of my hatred towards my old boss/ex-friend. I'm excited about this journey - I've let her get to me for so long, and it's time I let her go instead.

Today, I am grateful for the comfort of my life, that I don't live in a third world country, can afford to feed myself, live under a roof and have the means to make life more comfortable and enjoyable. I am grateful for good friends, the ones that I have been able to hug in person as well as the ones I have yet to meet face to face, for their support is what has gotten me through the last 5.5 years. I am grateful thst I was able to try three rounds of IVF, so that I could end my quest for biological children knowing that I did everything possible and have no regrets or what if's floating around in my brain.

Today my random act of kindness will be to donate to a friend who is doing a walk to support women's cancers.

See you tomorrow loves xoxo

Friday, May 9, 2014

Mother's Day Gratitude

Today's installment of Let's Think Positive and Live Longer, brought to you by Stop, Breathe and Think, my new iphone app that guides me through short meditations!

One of the four things is meditating daily, and I have NEVER been one to meditate. I mean, I have done the yoga thing, including the end of yoga thing, but I have never been able to actually sit down to meditate. This app was free, and I love that while adults can use it, it seems to have been created to help school aged children get more connected with their minds, thoughts and feelings in order to be more balanced kids. I think that's a wonderful thing! It has a section that explains how meditation can help, and how you can do it.

If you're not an app person, one of the blogs I follow posted about meditation as well.

My loving husband, who I know I complain about more than he deserves, asked me what I wanted to do for Mother's Day. This might not seem like a positive thing, coming from an infertile and childless woman, but it touched me. It wasn't just him asking what I wanted to do on that day, he was asking me because I am a mother in his eyes. I didn't ask if he thinks of me only as a mother to our dogs, or if he is thinking of me as the mother to our angel baby, but it touched me just the same. He's a stereotypical guy, and never really wants to discuss things like my miscarriage, so I don't dare ask. But that moment of him asking me, because to him, it was my day, made me feel validated for the work we did and the sad experience we went through. Even though other people won't look at me as a mother, the one person that really matters does. Now I just have to figure out what I want to do that day! Let me know if you have any ideas.

Three Gratitudes for Today:
1. Grateful for my dogs - they truly love me unconditionally and nothing heals your soul faster than puppy kisses
2. Grateful I have a secure job that I enjoy 99% of the time
3. Grateful my husband chops wood and makes me fires when it is cold :)

My Random Act of Kindness - reaching out to another childless friend to say hi and that I'm thinking of her

One more thing for the childless mothers, this is a beautiful post by my lovely friend Amel. I'll be thinking of all my childless by chance friends on Sunday.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Gaining another 10 years of life

While I was sick last week, I watched some Ted Talks, specifically ones about Lifehacks. This one really spoke to me, and it felt like something I could actually do. Therefore, for 21 days, I am going to try and complete the following:

1. Journal something positive
2. Write down three things I am grateful for
3. Practice a random act of kindness
4. Meditate

I'll start right now.

My husband and I just got back from a trip to attend his grandmother's funeral. Obviously, it was a sad occassion and the traveling itself was equally as draining. However, it's times like these that make me remember the kind of man I married. We have an amazing connection and being with him, in daily life, on vacation and traveling for not so fun circumstances just reminds me that he's awesome.

My three gratitides for today:
1. The use of my legs - I can't even imagine not being able to run or even walk
2. Living in the mountains. Please never let me forget the amazing place I live in
3. My mom - always supportive and my friend. We have the most amazing discussions and debates. Especially after seeing my Mother in Law and her siblings at their mother's funeral, I'm not looking forward to that. I hope it doesn't happen for many, many years, but I am grateful to have her in my life now.

My random act of kindness today is to send a small gift to a friend.

xoxo to all of you

Sunday, May 4, 2014


I just realized that I didn't post a single thing for NIAW.

I guess I just don't feel connected any longer. I see RESOLVE as the advocate for the mothers who struggled to get there and the women who will be mothers after their own struggle. I feel so removed from even my own struggle, but as we all know, there is no baby in my life, nor really any chance of a baby in the future.

RESOLVE is all about hope. Where do you go when you no longer have any?

I'm actually in a much better place mentally without hope and RESOLVE. I was able to look at a baby 2 feet away from me, discuss why I'm not going to have kids, and I didn't cry. Didn't even tear up. I was so PROUD of myself.

I'm doing good.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

More CSA Decisions

So I signed up for the less expensive CSA with mostly leafy greens. Now that I've done that, a friend wants to split it with me. It might seem like a lot, but we eat a lot of vegetables, especially with me eating Whole30ish most of the time now. She wants to split it because this purveyor stopped selling at the farmers market because he does all CSA and sells to local restaurants, and she misses buying his greens.

If I don't split it with her, I think I could get away with just the CSA box without much additional purchasing. If I split it with her, I know I won't have enough vegetables from the CSA and will definitely have to buy additional. So my options are to A. Not split it with her, B. Split it with her and supplement with farmers market and grocery store or C. Split it with her and join the other CSA as well.

Money-wise, it breaks down like this:

A. Don't split it - This will be $30 a week spent on produce, which leaves $350-$380 a month ($70-$95 a week) for other grocery items. I know this seems like a lot. Writing this out makes me wonder where it all goes!

B. Split it - This reduces my CSA spend to $15 a week (assuming we split it equally), which gives me $425 - $440 a month ($85-$110 a week) to spend on other items, including produce from the farmers market.

C. Split it and join the other CSA. This is probably the most expensive and risky option. The other CSA is $37.50 a week, which would take my weekly produce spend to $52.50 a week, probably higher than it needs to be. If I did this, leaving me from $237.50 - $290 for other groceries. I guess I should look at it like this too: that's only $47.50 - $72.50 a week for other things. Considering I spend approximately $20 a week in eggs alone, plus another $20 per week on whole chickens, that's probably not feasible.

Ok, now that I've put it all down on paper, I guess I am leaning towards option B. I help my friend (my random act of kindness for today) and I also give myself some flexibility on what else I can purchase.

If you were in my position, what would you do?

Friday, May 2, 2014

Now That I've Calmed Down...

There really are more important things than not being able to do the full marathon I wanted to do. I chose to do this race so that I could fundraise to find a cure for cancer. I am lucky that the decision between the half and the full is even a consideration. With so many of my friends currently battling cancer, as well as the friends and family I have lost during my own lifetime, how can I be so ungrateful for the health I have?

I'm still trying to figure out what I will do with my race, but it's not life or death, so I will figure it out. Thanks for letting me have my pity party freakout!