Thursday, May 15, 2014

Anxiety

I had a minor panic attack today. Life was good, I was thinking positive and focusing on the happy. However, I got home and someone had dumped a bunch of cigarette butts on top of our wood pile. There was also a bottle of fuel stabilizer and a bit of charcoal. I have to say I freaked out. It's been three dry years in a row, and there are at least nine fires in Southern California. There were several fires that burned out of control last summer that killed our air quality, and we live right on a forest parcel in the middle of town. I just thought that it someone were trying to start a fire, it would be devastating to so many around us, but even worse, my poor dogs would likely burn to death. That thought alone threw me into a panic attack.

Side note: there are many people who would say I don't understand a mother's love because I don't have a child. However, I would be willing to bet they don't know the ferocity with which I love my dogs.

It took a few deep breaths, and a lot of talking - to my mom, my husband, my neighbors, and friends, and I finally calmed down. We figured out that whoever did this was probably not trying to start a fire, but just being stupid. The bucket of cigarette butts was from the upstairs unit where nobody is currently living, and the fuel stabilizer was also up there. It looks as though some kids got up there and just dumped stuff off the balcony. It also raised other concerns - I have been hearing things that sounded like someone upstairs, but I blew it off, thinking it must be the neighbors next door. However, when discussing the incident with my neighbors, they have also been hearing strange noises, and apparently so has my husband. I let our management office know and they are going to go into the unit to look. So that's the positive that came out of this situation - I think it brought us all closer together.

Today I am grateful for my simpler life. Living in a small town in the mountains and having a job that doesn't have long hours and is flexible, really gives me the freedom to do so many things, including giving blood, while also getting exercise and fresh air, wearing out my pups, etc. I am also grateful for my neighbors - even though they can annoy me sometimes, they are a good group and we watch out for each other.

My random act of kindness today is giving blood. I really wanted to donate double red blood cells, but they weren't looking for my blood type. They still wanted my pint though! :)

1 comment:

  1. I also have a fierce love for my dogs that most people don't get. I don't have kids but I would guess the love is pretty equivalent. Glad there wasn't a fire.

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