Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Love, Wine, and Childfree

I've been slacking on this blog, but what else is new? Work has been kinda shitty with drama, which makes me sad because I left a job I loved to take this one. That's one reason for my silence. I guess I just keep my head down and remember this job is allowing us to pay debt and have good vacations.

But I have had my story featured on Lesley Pyne. Most you know my story, but maybe I get a few new readers out of this.:)

Speaking of good vacations from my job as well as from being childfree, I was able to get out of town this last weekend with my husband and dogs, we had four lovely days in wine country. I tasted a lot of wine, discovered some new favorites, did a lot of good eating and relaxing. This is something we could not easily do with a child in tow. I could not have bought as much wine as I did, or joined the clubs we did if we had a baby as well.

And this weekend we are living it up at a wedding - romantic suite, bottle of wine, and champagne brunch. Once again, who would watch the baby? How would we afford this awesome suite and diapers?

I have always kept adopting in the back of my mind, mostly to soothe my heart when it was hurting, when I see someone's baby grow up into a toddler and then a little person. Or see someone's first ultrasound photo posted on Facebook. I knew it would still be an option for at least a few more years. But I'm coming to peace with being childless forever.

Would I have been thrilled to be a parent? Of course I would. Would I miss wine tasting and long weekends away? Probably not, because we spent so much time focusing on procreation, that we stopped doing these things. Am I now seeing a silver lining? Yes, I have to say that I am. Fate brought me here, so I'm going to enjoy it. I dare someone to tell me that I am being selfish. In a way I am, but it wasn't my choice. It was the cards I was dealt, and now I'm making limoncello out of those damn lemons.

Anyway, if you are childless like me, and want a fresher, more positive outlook, you should add Lesley to your blog reader.

6 comments:

  1. I am grateful for my daughter mind you but there are days I do wonder about that "if". What if that last donor egg cycle didn't work? I mean would I even still be married? Too much to even contemplate with the thought of all those bad hormones I was hopped up on and the emotional roller coaster.

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    1. There are always what ifs, no matter what journey you have taken :)

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  2. Mmmmm, wine! You're definitely not selfish, and I'm smiling to think that you're making limoncello out of those lemons.

    Great interview at Lesley's site too.

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  3. Jack and I had an amazing trip to Florida in February and we are going to Hawaii in October and I know my sister with two kids isn't thrilled to hear about our trips. I just remember how jealous I was of her and her kids and how easy she got pregnant and now a little payback is great.

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  4. This is a really beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your experience and reflection. Love and wine your way!

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