Monday, April 25, 2016
2 Pounds Down
Where the eff is my water weight loss? I know I should be happy I lost at all, 2 pounds is as much as I could hope for. Just hoping that's mostly fat and not water weight because I'd really be screwed calorie wise. HAHAHAHA! But seriously, I should be happy I am so tall because I get calories. I feel bad for some of the smaller girls that have to cut so low. I also haven't really changed the way I eat, just tracking more closely and following macros.
I was thinking a lot about my why. What is my motivation? I'm sad to say that I'm currently only motivated by aesthetics (and getting a whole new wardrobe by being able to fit into clothes I haven't warn in years!), which really isn't the best motivation. I do want to get stronger, but I don't have any goals with that regard. I am healthy, I am active, I can walk and hike and my weight doesn't get in the way of my life. I just hate the way I look. That part might not be so healthy.
In the past, I've had another goal to work toward - when I lost the most weight in the past, I was training for a marathon. I'm not in a place where I am interested in that kind of training right now. I'm not really interested in powerlifting or Olympic lifting at this point - not that I won't in the future, but for one, I'm nowhere close to even lifting a competitive weight right now. This is where I can see why so many think they want to compete! The last thing I want to do is put myself on stage to have my body judged. I can't see any way that would help me with my body image! But I can see why so many think that should be their goal - because they have nothing else to work towards to stay motivated. Some sort of competition would be great, I just don't know what kind.
The biggest motivation I have right now is my 10 year anniversary in 17 months. The plan is to go to Mexico for our vow renewal. I would love to 1. Wear my dress again (30 pounds away) and 2. Look AMAZING in my dress, which I didn't really do the first time around. Plus, it's Mexico. It would be nice to actually take photos of the vacation and have wedding photos that I really like the way I look.