Monday, April 25, 2016

2 Pounds Down

Where the eff is my water weight loss? I know I should be happy I lost at all, 2 pounds is as much as I could hope for. Just hoping that's mostly fat and not water weight because I'd really be screwed calorie wise. HAHAHAHA! But seriously, I should be happy I am so tall because I get calories. I feel bad for some of the smaller girls that have to cut so low. I also haven't really changed the way I eat, just tracking more closely and following macros.

I was thinking a lot about my why. What is my motivation? I'm sad to say that I'm currently only motivated by aesthetics (and getting a whole new wardrobe by being able to fit into clothes I haven't warn in years!), which really isn't the best motivation. I do want to get stronger, but I don't have any goals with that regard. I am healthy, I am active, I can walk and hike and my weight doesn't get in the way of my life. I just hate the way I look. That part might not be so healthy.

In the past, I've had another goal to work toward - when I lost the most weight in the past, I was training for a marathon. I'm not in a place where I am interested in that kind of training right now. I'm not really interested in powerlifting or Olympic lifting at this point - not that I won't in the future, but for one, I'm nowhere close to even lifting a competitive weight right now. This is where I can see why so many think they want to compete! The last thing I want to do is put myself on stage to have my body judged. I can't see any way that would help me with my body image! But I can see why so many think that should be their goal - because they have nothing else to work towards to stay motivated. Some sort of competition would be great, I just don't know what kind.

The biggest motivation I have right now is my 10 year anniversary in 17 months. The plan is to go to Mexico for our vow renewal. I would love to 1. Wear my dress again (30 pounds away) and 2. Look AMAZING in my dress, which I didn't really do the first time around. Plus, it's Mexico. It would be nice to actually take photos of the vacation and have wedding photos that I really like the way I look.



1 comment:

  1. I currently have renewed motivation. I'm finding crutches are not easy when you're heavy. I'm lucky that I'd recently increased the weights and workouts I was doing at the gym, working on my usually pathetic (still pretty pathetic actually) upper body strength. But imagining what it would be like to have crutches in ten or twenty years (or next year) is motivating me.

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